Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

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General Heath, a famous lover of parade music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a symphonic orchestra playing.
When asked about his impressions, he commented:
"No military precision in drill..."
"Why?"
"Did you see those violin players? They were moving their bows not in cadence."

Rating: 4.8 |

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
An a-cat-emy award.

Rating: 4.6 |

Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book?
They all have phones.

Rating: 4.6 |

"Hello?" the blonde responded answering the phone. Hearing no response, she repeated, "Hello?"

"I'll bet you want me to come over and take you into the bedroom, undress you, lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love to you until dawn." the male voice whispered.

"Scheesch! You're good." she replied. "You mean you can tell all that from two hello's?"

Rating: 4.6 |

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe.

Rating: 4.6 |

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