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A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy.
"It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million."
"Fabulous," says the guy by the pool.
"There's just one catch," his partner warns.
"What's the catch?"
"We have to put up ten thousand in cash".
When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House
Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a
car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and
whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands
of yards away. They all fall into a daze.
When they come to and extract themselves from the
vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz.
They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The
Wizard is known for granting people their wishes.
Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"
What does Father Christmas call his money ?
Iced lolly ?
What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?
They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!