Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

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I went to see my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking.
What did he say?
He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate.
Did that do any good?
No - I can't get the chocolate to light.

Rating: 4.8 |

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?
Cruising on a clipper.

Rating: 4.8 |

Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute?

It opens on impact.

Rating: 4.8 |

Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya
know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft
and attic at church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothing
seems to scare them away.

Another said, "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in
the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."

The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the
church... Haven't seen one back since!"

Rating: 4.8 |

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Rating: 4.8 |

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