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What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside ?
A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,
"I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this
time he doesn't get her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
A little girl climbed into her grandfather's lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck.
"Did god make you?", she asked.
"yes" he answered.
"did god makeme, to?" she wondered.
"yes", he replied.
"well, she shrugged, "don't you think he's doing a better job now than he used to?"
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
