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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:
Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented a
hunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find any
birds they shoot. One year they did't go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemen
who used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting but
the farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didn't have a
replacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he saw
them he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R.F.D. guys asked the farmer what the
Corona boys did that could be so bad. Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fine
until one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. Well whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer said
they renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit on his ass and bark all the time.
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.
Who was the first accountant?
Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
